Milton Waddams
"I could set the building on fire... [said several times in the film, usually after he feels slighted]"

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Milton Waddams
"I was told, I was told if I was late again I would be summarily dismissed..."

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Milton Waddams
"I was told that I could listen, to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9 to 11... well, I... I told Bill that if, if Sandras going to listen to her headphones while shes, while shes filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while Im collating so I dont see why I should have to turn it down because I enjoy, listening, at a reasonable volume, from 9 to 11..."

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Milton Waddams
"And I said, I dont care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then Im quitting, Im going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because theyve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry... But then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didnt bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then Ill, Ill, Ill set the building on fire..."

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Milton Waddams
"Y-- Excuse me. You-- I believe you have my stapler?"

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Milton Waddams
"And then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and and and I still havent received my paycheck and he took my stapler, and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it, and I really dont appreciate garbage..."

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Milton Waddams
"The ratio of people to cake is too big."

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Milton Waddams
"Well, Ok. But..thats the last straw."

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Samir Nagheenanajar
"Why does it say Paper Jam when there IS no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window!"

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Samir Nagheenanajar
"Peter, you a very BAD person."

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Samir Nagheenanajar
"I am also not a pussy."

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Bob Slydell
"Ill be honest with you, I love his music, I do, Im a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it doesnt get any better than when he sings When a Man Loves a Woman."

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Bob Slydell
"What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?"

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Bob Slydell
"Id like to move us right up to Peter Gibbons. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy thats just a straight shooter with upper management potential."

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Bob Slydell
"Oh yeah, were bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, thats the usual deal."

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