Uncle Rico
"How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we wouldve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind."

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Uncle Rico
"Napoleon, you know we cant afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while youre at it."

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Uncle Rico
"Back in 82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile."

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Uncle Rico
"Your grandma took a spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx!"

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Uncle Rico
"Hey, you guys wanna see my video?"

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Uncle Rico
"Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?"

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Uncle Rico
"Man I wish I could go back in time... Id take state."

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Uncle Rico
"Billowys good."

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Rex
"Im Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, youll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man."

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Rex
"Bow to your sensei, BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!"

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Rex
"Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!"

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Rex
"At Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo! You need somebody watching your back AT ALL TIMES! Second off, youre gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? [gestures toward Napoleon]"

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Rex
"Take a look at what Im wearing, people [in sunglasses and matching american flag pants and bandana]. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while Im wearing these bad boys? Forget about it! Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks Im a failure because I go home to Starla at night? [Points at a photo of his wife, a blonde, tan, muscular body-builder] Forget about it!"

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Rex
"Just break the wrist, and then walk away. Break the wrist; walk away."

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Rex
"[To Rico] CMERE, BOY!!"

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