= Zed
"[To candidates rejected by MIB] Gentlemen, congratulations. Youre everything weve come to expect from years of government training."

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= Zed
"[To Agent J] The twins keep us on Centaurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. Give it a few months. Youll get used to it... or youll have a psychotic episode."

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= Zed
"Were not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here."

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= Zed
"[To the Worms, who are about to leave Earth without his permission] YOU SORRY LITTLE INGRATES!"

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= Zed
"[Monologue as Jay suits up] Youll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MiB Special Services. Youll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on youll have no identifying marks of any kind. Youll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. Youre a rumor, recognizable only as dèjá vu and dismissed just as quickly. You dont exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name; silence, your native tongue. Youre no longer part of the System. Youre above the System. Over it. Beyond it. Were them. Were they. We are the Men in Black."

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= Bug
"[The Bug goes to the New York City morgue] A man came in here the other day... a dead man."

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= Bug
"[To Jay] Listen, monkey boy! Compared to you humans, Im on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder, so can it, all right?"

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= Bug
"Ever pulled the wings off a fly? Care to see the fly get even?!"

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= Bug
"[To Laurel, as he heads for his ship] Youre coming with me. Its a long trip. Ill need a snack."

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= Agent K
"[After neuralyzing some civilians]
Damn, what a gullible breed."

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= Agent K
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it."

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= Agent K
"[To Agent J] 1500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat and 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what youll know tomorrow."

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= Agent K
"[Seeing a newborn alien baby] Congratulations, Reg, its a... squid."

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= Agent K
"This is called a neuralizer. Its a gift from some friends from out of town..."

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= Agent K
"[To Mikey] Put up your arms and all your flippers."

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