Tripper Harrison
"[to TV interviewer, about Camp Mohawk] But, the real excitement, of course, is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness Week. We import 200 hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and $2,000 cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can and the winner, of course, is named King of Sexual Awareness Week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"[to Rudy] You must be the short depressed kid we ordered."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"[on loudspeaker] Attention. Heres an update on tonights dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonights mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed some kind of beef."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"[driving the bus on a getaway from the intercamp basketball game where they escaped after not winning but humiliating the other team by pulling their shorts down] This is the proudest moment in North Star history!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"[entering party] Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. [to Crocket and Wheels] You guys split em up however you want."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"Kids are starving in China and youre walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"Ok, the zones not working. Theyre a little too big to play man-to-man. And we cant shoot for shit."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"[on loudspeaker] Attention all campers, its 9:30... and thats lights-out time here at Camp Northstar, 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is parents day, and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"That’s just the attitude we don’t need, Phil. Sure, Mohawk has beaten us 12 years in a row. Sure, they’re terrific athletes. They’ve got the best equipment that money can buy. Hell, every team they’re sending over here has their own personal masseuse. Not masseur. Masseuse. But, it doesn’t matter. Do you know that every Mohawk competitor has electrocardiogram, blood and urine tests every 48 hours to see if there’s any change in his physical condition. Do you know that they use the most sophisticated training methods from the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, and the newest Olympic power, Trinidad Tobago. But, it doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter! I tell you it just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter! Even...and even if we win...if we win... Ha! Even if we win. Even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days. Even if God in Heaven above comes down and points His hand at our side of the field. Even if everyman woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win. It just wouldn’t matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guy from Mohawk cause they’ve got all the money. It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter! It just doesnt matter!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Tripper Harrison
"Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners. Do you know what theyre saying? Theyre saying, This is the year that Fink beats The Stomach. [Fink picks up a hot dog and holds it to his ear] No, its a couple of them over here... but theyre saying it."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Other
"The Stomach: What? No mustard?"

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________