Christian Markelli
"I dont like to brag, but I can suck the engine block through the tailpipe of a 58 Chevy."

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Christian Markelli
"How come if God talks to Joseph Smith, hes a prophet, but if God talks to me Im schizophrenic?"

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Christian Markelli
"Maybe you could try and reach down in your Bible geek soul and be cool for just two seconds?"

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Christian Markelli
"Ok asshole, the way I see it youve got a big mouth and only one arm to back it up. Sos hows it gonna look when a big flamer kicks the shit out of you?"

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Christian Markelli
"Dammit, whats wrong with you? You want revelations engraved in gold and angels trumpeting down from heaven. But what if this is it instead? Me telling you I love you, right here, in snow? I think thats pretty miraculous."

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Christian Markelli
"I mean, LA is a city where everyone dances with one eye on the door, like were all waiting for something better to walk in. But would we ever recognise it if we did? It might be nice to stop circling. it might be nice to stop equating sex with a handshake. It might be nice to have it mean something."

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Christian Markelli
"Could be worse, could be raining. Oh yeah: it IS raining."

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Christian Markelli
":..."

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Christian Markelli
":Christian: Well, apparently poor Pam Anderson has had her breast implants taken out and put back in so many times that her entire chest is collapsing. Ohh, they have bikini pictures. [gasps] Theyre horrible!"

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Christian Markelli
":Keith: Shut up."

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Christian Markelli
":Christian: No, they are, seriously, theyre down to her knees."

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Other
":Ryder: Who called up Deliver-a-fag?"

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Other
":Traci: Christ, who pissed in your cheerios?"

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Other
":Harmon: They set this thing up to be difficult, ok? We cant listen to music, we cant watch movies, were never supposed to be alone. I mean, what, were ninteen, twenty years old and were not even allowed to beat off. Some nights I wake up, and I find teeth marks on my headboard. Look, I put my time in here, so that I can go home, so that I can marry Jennifer, so that I can finally nail her. See? Its amazing what well do for sex."

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Other
":Keith: I used to be you. Yeah, I had a career, friends, looks, the whole package. But now Im just a skeletal reminder that we may only be in the eye of the hurricane."

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