Allison Scott
"Nice. You are such an asshole. You know what--Go--go fuck your fucking bong!"

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Allison Scott
"You havent had to sacrifice ANYTHING! Ive had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina..."

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Allison Scott
"You cant buy shit! You can barely pay for spaghetti!"

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Jonah
"(After Jay has announced that he has shaved his pubic area) What the fuck, man?!If I go in there and see fucking pubes sprinkled all over the toilet seat, Im gonna fucking lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fucking stuffed animal!"

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Jonah
"Dont masturbate with a noose. If you do, use a spotter or a teammate."

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Jonah
"Im going to murderball you!"

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Jonah
"I went where I went Jason!"

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Jonah
"Hey Crocket, hows Tubbs doing?"

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Jonah
"How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?"

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Jonah
"See ya... Scorcese on coke"

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Pete
"Its the baseball draft honey, I got Matsui!"

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Pete
"There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room."

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Pete
"You look like Babe Ruths older gay brother. Gabe Ruth."

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Pete
"You look like a cholo dressed up on Easter."

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Pete
"[quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where were going we dont need roads."

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