Brodie
"And on that note, we cue the music."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Brodie
"[to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comics spine] It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like youd hold a woman."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Willam Black
"[staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] Thats beautiful, man."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Yo lunchbox, hurry it up."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., youll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck [referring to Silent Bob], none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it."

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. Were gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, were gonna make em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made em eat. Then youre all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizzouse!"

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Zoinks, yo!"

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"I hope one rips the other ones shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Hey. Get the fuck off her. Thats my ex-girlfriends monkey."

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe its some kind of supermonkey. What if theres more supermonkeys up at that lab? [shouts] What if theyre creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the fuckin damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we wont spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucksll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"[Trying to talk his way out of a drug bust] What? Ive got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you dont believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the fucking stink nuggets!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Dude, I think I just filled the cup."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Jay
"Dont you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. Im a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________