Narrator
"But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner city slang and various grunts."

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Narrator
"Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator had come to replace water virtually everywhere."

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Narrator
"After several hours Joe finally gave up on logic and reason and simply told the cabinet that he could talk to plants and that they wanted water."

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President Camacho
"So youre smart huh? I thought your head would be bigger."

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President Camacho
"Shut up. Sit your monkey ass down. Chill out."

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President Camacho
"I know shits bad right now with all that starvin bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution."

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President Camacho
"Chill Scro, do a good job and you get a kick-ass presidential pardon."

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Frito Pendejo
"I like money."

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Frito Pendejo
"Theres a shuttle down in the Costco. Itll drop us right by the time machine."

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Frito Pendejo
"[walking through Costco] Yeah, I know this place pretty good. I went to law school here."

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Frito Pendejo
"If I had some money and a room at the White House, Id be like, Its mine, all night!"

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Miscellaneous
"Formica Davis: Well it started off boring and slow with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me! That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, Man, whatever! The guys guilty as shit! We all know that. And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation."

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Miscellaneous
"Carls Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!"

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Miscellaneous
"Various: I like money."

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Rita
"You think Einstein walked around thinkin everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?"

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