Harry
"(after Marv gets 14 cents) Thats very smart, Marv. We bust out of jail just to rob 14 cents from a Santa Claus."

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Harry
"(after seeing Kevin) Hey, look who it is, Marv. Lets get him. [To Kevin] Hiya, pal."

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Peter McCallister
"(to Kevin) KEVIN!! YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE?!?"

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Frank McCallister
"[Snatching a can of Coke out of his son Fullers hand] Hey, hey, easy on the fluids pal. The rubber sheets are packed."

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Frank McCallister
"Get outta here you nosy little pervert, or Im gonna slap you silly!"

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Frank McCallister
"[As the others look at their motel in disgust] Didnt look this bad on our honeymoon."

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Frank McCallister
"I know I shouldnt complain about a free trip, but geez you guys give the worst gol-darn wake up calls!"

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Marv
"Wow! What a hole!"

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Marv
"That was the sound of a tool chest, falling down the stairs."

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Marv
"Harry, Ive reached the top! (Takes one step and falls down two floors)"

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Marv
"(stomps on steps to make kevin drop last paint can then laughs) oh right in the schnoze."

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Kevin McCallister
"[To Harry and Marv] You can mess with a lot of things, but you cant mess with kids on Christmas."

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Kevin McCallister
"[To Marv] Dont you know a kid always wins against two idiots?"

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Kevin McCallister
"Nice night for a neck injury!"

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Kevin McCallister
"Excuse me, but this is an emergency. What city is it out there?"

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