"Mrs. Teasdale: The government has been mismanaged. I will lend the money, but only on condition that His Excellency withdraw and place the government in new hands."

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"Chicolini (to the lemonade vendor): Mister you no understand. Look, hes a spy and Im a spy, he work-a for me. I want him to find out-a something, but he no find out what I wanna find out. Now how am I gonna find out what I wanna find out if he no find out what I gotta find out?"

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Rufus T. Firefly
"I danced before Napoleon. No, Napoleon danced before me. In fact, he danced two hundred years before me."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, Id rather dance with the cows till you came home."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"These are the laws of my administration No ones allowed to smoke Or tell a dirty joke And whistling is forbidden... If chewing gum is chewed The chewer is pursued. And in the hoosegow hidden... If any form of pleasure is exhibited Report to me and it will be prohibited. Ill put my foot down, so shall it be. This is the land of the free. The last man nearly ruined this place He didnt know what to do with it If you think this countrys bad off now Just wait til I get through with it The countrys taxes must be fixed And I know what to do with it If you think youre paying too much now Just wait til I get through with it... I will not stand for anything thats crooked or unfair Im strictly on the up and up So everyone beware If anyones caught taking graft And I dont get my share We stand em up against the wall And pop goes the weasel. If any man should come between her husband and his bride We find out which one she prefers By letting her decide If she prefers the other man The husband steps outside We stand em up against the wall And pop goes the weasel."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"* Just Wait Til I Get Through With It, sung just after his inauguration"

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Im in a hurry! To the House of Representatives! Ride like fury! If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"[On the phone] Get me headquarters. Not hindquarters, headquarters!"

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I cant make head or tail out of it."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"[to Chicolini] I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"This is the fifth trip Ive made today, and I havent been anywhere yet!"

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Id be unworthy of the high trust thats been placed in me if I didnt do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia at peace with the world. Id be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesnt? A fine thing thatll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. Thatll add a lot to my prestige, wont it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it! I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept! Why, the cheap four-flushing swine! Hell never get away with it, I tell you! Hell never get away with it!"

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Here are the plans of war. Theyre as valuable as your life. And thats putting them pretty cheap. Watch them like a cat watched her kittens. Have you ever had kittens? No, of course not, youre too busy running around playing bridge."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Youre a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember while youre out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, well be in here thinking what a sucker you are."

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Rufus T. Firefly
"Ive got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."

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