Jay
"Im Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob."

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Jay
"Go back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck fucks!"

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Jay
"Snoogens! Did you see that shit, man? I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!"

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Jay
"We figure abortion clinics are a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be here unless they like to fuck?"

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Jay
"No wonder he saw Jesus. Homeys rockin the ganj!"

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Jay
"I guess were in charge of the gang now."

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Jay
"[awaking from a dream] I didnt cum in you, Pete, I swear."

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Jay
"Hey, Big Bird! Ready to play the counting game? Count the shells, suck-a-duck!"

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Jay
"Its the end of the world, we got about five minutes... you said youd fuck me."

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Jay
"I feel like Im Han Solo and youre Chewie (referring to Silent Bob) and shes Ben Kenobi (referring to Bethany) and were in that fucked-up bar."

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Jay
"Gear?! Like I ever drove before."

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Jay
"What the fuck do I know bout shiftin?"

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Jay
"Shes a slut. BOOONNNGGG!"

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Metatron
"Behold the Metatron! Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God!"

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Metatron
"Oh, give over, will you? I couldnt rape you if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped. (lowers his pants) See? Im as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. You bottom-feeders and your arrogance... you think everybodys just trying to get in your knickers."

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