Jim, The Waco Kid
"Well, my names Jim. But most people call me... Jim."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"Well, you devious son of a bitch."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"Then one day I heard Reach for it, mister. I spun around, and there I was face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and Ive been there ever since."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"Whats a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?"

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"What did you expect? Welcome, sonny? Make yourself at home? Marry my daughter? Youve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know . . . morons."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"Well, Mongo aint exactly a who, hes more of a what."

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Jim, The Waco Kid
"[About Mongo] No, no, dont shoot him - youll only make him mad."

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":Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"

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":Mongo: Mongo only pawn in game of life."

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":Mongo: Dont know. Got to do with where choo-choo go..."

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":Mongo: (about to open an exploding candy-gram) Mongo like candy."

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":Lily: Hello handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?"

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":Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How . . . womantic."

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":Lily: (with Bart in the dark) Is it twue what they say about your people being... gifted? (loud unzipping noise) Oh its TWUE! Its twue, its twue!"

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