Steve Stifler
"You hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds and you passed up sex with Nadia, f*^ing stupid. Youre like a blind man picking out his favorite porno."

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Steve Stifler
"Its on like Donkey Kong, biotch."

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Steve Stifler
"My dick looks like a corn dog and Ive got cake all over my balls."

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Steve Stifler
"Hey, Finch, whats the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bang-cock."

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Steve Stifler
"Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake."

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Steve Stifler
"If youll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to."

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Steve Stifler
"Happy Fuck Day, Ass Mouth."

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Steve Stifler
"Told ya that guy wanted to fuck me."

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Steve Stifler
"Its time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. Cause Im gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out."

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"Jims Dad: Son, step away from the animal..."

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Michelle Flaherty
"Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. Its like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time."

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Michelle Flaherty
"Love isnt just a feeling. Its shaving your balls."

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Michelle Flaherty
"Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isnt just a feeling. Love is something you do. Its a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, youve given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you."

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Paul Finch
"Love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!"

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Paul Finch
"Voltaire can suck on my balls!"

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