Robert McKee
"Ill tell you a secret. The last act makes the film. Wow them in the end, and youve got a hit. You can have flaws, problems, but wow them in the end, and youve got a hit. Find an ending, but dont cheat, and dont you dare bring in a deus ex machina. Your characters must change, and the change must come from them. Do that, and youll be fine."

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Charlie Kaufman
"To begin... To begin... How to start? Im hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. So I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana nut. Thats a good muffin."

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Charlie Kaufman
"I dont want to cram in sex or guns or car chases or characters learning profound life lessons or growing or coming to like each other or overcome obstacles to succeed in the end. The book isnt like that, and life isnt like that, it just isnt."

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Charlie Kaufman
"You and I share the same DNA. Is there anything more lonely than that?"

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Charlie Kaufman
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

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Charlie Kaufman
"[voiceover] Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldnt be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Im a walking clich». I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. Theres something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. Im way overdue. If I stop putting things off I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasnt fat I would be happier. I wouldnt have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like thats fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more. Improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument. I could speak Chinese. Id be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that. Just be real. Confident. Isnt that what women are attracted to? Men dont have to be attractive. But thats not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe its my brain chemistry. Maybe thats whats wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But Ill still be ugly though. Nothings going to change that."

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Charlie Kaufman
"What the hell do you need binoculars for?!"

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John Laroche
"Whos gonna play me? I think I should play me."

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John Laroche
"Im probably the smartest person I know."

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John Laroche
"Darkness falls, bad things happen."

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Amelia Kavan
"I love you too, you know."

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Donald Kaufman
"You are what you love, not what loves you, I decided that a long time ago."

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Donald Kaufman
"[delighted] I got shot. Isnt that fucked up?"

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Donald Kaufman
"McKee says we all have to realize we write in a genre, so we must find originality within that genre. Did you know that there hasnt been a new genre since Fellini invented the mockumentary...? My genres thriller, whats yours?"

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Susan Orlean
"I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know how it feels to care about something passionately."

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