Mrs. Parker
"I promise, Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Mrs. Parker
"Youll shoot your eye out!"

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Mrs. Parker
"That is... The ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire LIFE!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________


"Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that itll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________


"Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf double beatloaf. I hate meatloaf."

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________


"Ralphie: [after cracking a secret code, reading it] Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"

EMail this quote - Watch YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"Lets face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"I left Flick to certain annihilation. But BB gun mania knows no loyalty."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"My old mans spare tires were only actually tires in the academic sense. They were round and had once been made of rubber."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"[After Mother breaks the Old Mans Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it] With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered Major Award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of Taps being played. Gently."

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)
"The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!"

EMail this quote - Link YouTube clip! - (Source : WikiQuote)
__________________________